Often times in life we allow our emotions to get the best of us in a situation. A parent says to their child, “What? Are you stupid or something?!” We speak behind someone’s back, “Can you believe them?” In righteous, or should I say “self-righteous”, anger we lash out at someone because of the perceived wrong they have committed. My question to you is this, who is right in these situations? And, how do we fix it? I am among those who has at times spoken or even acted in a way that doesn’t honor the Jesus I say I love. My answer to the first question is this. If you are seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (Mt. 6:33) you are in the right. Why? Because you are acting on behalf of the holy righteousness of God. You may be wondering, “But what if it was a harsh word?” God has never worried about our feelings, but our holiness (Lev. 11:44, 1Pet. 1:16). He desires us to look more and more like Jesus. However, your harsh message doesn’t have to be accompanied with a harsh tone. No matter the situation we as God’s children should act like Him, we should be patient, kind, not looking for an argument, able to teach in every situation regardless the evil that is present, and seeking the repentance that leads to life. (2 Tim. 2:24-25)
But what if you have already blown it? How do I fix things? Here is my answer to the second question. I heard it put this way one time and I believe it is a good summary of the way in which a believer should respond.
There are 3 parts to an apology.
1. I’m sorry. Acknowledge that you were truly wrong. If you feel like you didn’t say or do anything wrong maybe it was your tone or the attitude in which you delivered the message.
2. It was my fault. People can always smell a fake!! When you show them where you messed up they tend to receive the apology because they see your contrition, and know you are trying to deal with things properly.
3. How can I make this better? This is where you offer reconciliation to the other party. Be ready to find out how deep the hurt went at this moment too. They may not know how to respond but they will appreciate that you value them and their opinion.
Most Important about dealing with difficult situations remember the words of Paul in Ephesians 4. “Speak the truth in love….Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds….Be angry and do not sin…Let no corrupt talk come out of your mouth but only such as is good for the building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear…..Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slandor be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
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